Sunday, October 25, 2009

Snow at Walnut

There's no other way to start this entry any other way than just for me to say that it's been a while since I've written in here.

Here are bits and pieces of what's going on:

*School is school is school as always. Getting homework done feels good, but sometimes hopelessly pointless, at which point I always ask my self "why NOT learn these things?" Guess it's always about extending meaning onto theses things as much as I can.

*H1N1 might be a bigger deal then anticipated. Question myself if I might have been part of the whole trend or not. After my endoscopy and doctoral analysis, came down with a throat bug that dragged me down for a week and half. Felt pretty shitty for some time, but lately have pushed myself with some physical workouts, staying on top of school, and not trying to stress about too much. Since then, the appetite has been better, outlook on life is getting better, even if I haven't been with very many friends lately.

*Heart keeps swinging and swinging and swinging. Feel like I get attracted to a different girl almost every week. Laura feels like she's fading from my interest, haven't heard from her in a while, and I feel that causes a lack in motivation for me to keep sending her letters and other small things. Lauren is a nice girl, going to the movies and out for cookies and milk was a blast last week, but I still wonder about having that sort of affection for her, and she always seems pretty busy. Even right now, I saw Grace at Walnut St today, and I find myself looking at her with an affectionate mindset at times.

*Music is really hard to keep going. I'm spreading myself as thin as it is already, and by time I get to making music, I have a lot of mental blockage I'm trying to work myself through. I almost don't feel like putting any new tracks up on myspace until I have a polished 3-4 song EP made. I'm somewhat self-conscious in my singing voice right now, almost feel like I want to do electronic and post-rock music exclusively.

So that's about it right now. In my mind, I see myself writing about all my ambitions and whole thought process on here, but in reality, translation is really fucking hard, and I seem to see the world in different ways every week.

Yesterday, Andrew, Cait and I went down to Denver to check out VeloSwap and peruse a ton of bike gear and get a ton of free samples. I bought a lot of socks and some gloves for Chey. We met Cook and Cate at City 'o City for brunch afterwards, and we had different veggie seitan wraps, seitan buffalo wings, and a cinnamon roll. We went to the Cheeky Monk afterwards for some really different Belgian beers that all tasted completely different from one another, and definitely something you couldn't find at any other bar in Denver. I dozed on the drive back home, and the evening was spent messing with some music and going out for pizza at Colore. I couldn't find a coffee shop to get homework done, so I bought some beer and did some work at home, not caring if Lauren would call me back or not to hang out. At one point, I ended up looking up a lot of information about Hiroshima, and then it slipped into my mind that to some points, it can be very easy to forget that shit like that has really happened in history. I calmed my mind mind down with some music after that, and I ended up going to bed early.

I like blogging because it makes me feel like I'm holding on to some memory from every day, even if it's just such a small reminder. The small things make me remember the most, I think.

-c

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