expecting setbacks

Hey 2011, what's up? It's been a while on here.

Amongst the newly-inspired goals of practice regiments with my trombone and piano, I am trying to keep up with my life on here. I do not feel like looking back in five years to see either a really patchy system of updates, or no updates at all. What exactly is going down with my life these days?

I'm picking up feelings of isolation and solitude a lot lately. Maybe the colder weather is stifling relationships with some friends at the moment. Maybe it is a lull of winter break, in which myself and my peers are not assigned to meet at a certain location a number of times in a week. We're all off doing our own things, and maybe some of us are hardly doing anything at all.

Therefore, instead of the old me that used to complain on the unrequited feelings and notions I have to other people, I'm really trying hard to stay strong for myself. Be okay with my own conscious. Even with family members who have a hard time offering me postive vibes quite often in my life, it is really up to me to know what I'm doing with my life is the right thing to be doing.

I had a hard time getting to bed early last night, but I still woke up early this morning, knowingly that I would be tired. It was one of those sleep-reset days to ward me off the 2 o'clock routine I'd been putting myself through. I actually made a good use to go to the music school and keep blowing my trombone. On other motivational thoughts, I keep thinking to myself that I will let my music and my musicality speak for itself these days. No more complaints to others, no more out of bounds favors, maybe even a lot less outreach that I feel has been such a part of me in my life. Just me and what I have to say with my art. I think it is a good thing to keep in mind this year.

I blew some trombone in the practice rooms, returned the JJ Johnson book to the music library, and picked up some works on Verve Records, Merge Records, and a history on Bebop. I went to Roma and got some coffee and did some more reading on Malcom Gladwell's "What the Dog Saw," the book Dad gave me for Christmas. So far so good. I think I enjoyed the bit on Cesar Millan the most so far.

The afternoon was spent with more trombone at the music school, and then back at home, I just read some more and ate some lunch. I spent a good deal of time making a song in my room afterwards, and while I had intended to go to the gym, I was just too tired and decided to get dinner and just take it easy for the night. I got some Big City and went to Safeway for a couple of groceries, and then back at home, I just read some more and ate the rest of my burrito and woofed down some cookies and milk.

So there! It doesn't take that long at all. Really.

Maybe I'll have some crazy instrospective rant some other time.

-Cody