She came over on her own (well, after a text) this afternoon to my room to talk and hang out and find some solace over the fact that her grandmother has breast cancer. We went to a great dinner at Fat Cat afterwards and I even got the bill before she could pay, and then it felt OK tagging along as we bought some 40s and then went back to her place to watch videos from Woodstock and get drunk together. But man, just at the party, everyone was just doing their own thing, and it was a LOT of fun...but did I just get into a point where somehow all I wanted was just to spend time with her? Even the mere seconds of her resting her head on my shoulder made me feel so happy.
I am so fucking tired of trying to face this world alone. I am so fucking tired of trying to make someone else so important to my own life and rather feel important towards what I should be doing with my life.
The sad part is that I still am going to be riding this in my mind when I am trying to forget about it tomorrow (later today).
Why do we always try to evaluate our sense of love with others when the fact that "that" never happens just makes us feel so terrible about ourselves?
-c
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