It seems that is pretty much what I have done all day today. I read in a book at the Boulder Bookstore how this one author stated the best way possible to start your day comes within the first ten minutes of your morning after you wake up, and in a metaphorical statement, she said people would MUCH rather wake up to a "kiss" rather then a "slap in the face," as in you just gotta find something positive to keep focus upon for the rest of the day from thereon.
That said, it was awesome waking up to Andrew giving me a call and telling me how awesome his trip was to Israel. Looks like he got to party a ton, had some spiritual openings, and even found another girl for the while. I still wish I could spend New Years with him up in NYC.
I fell asleep again after a thirty-five minute conversation, and then the next time I was awoken was to the sight of Roane and Dana entering my room and asking me out to breakfast at Dot's on the Hill. Top that off with incredibly sunny weather outside, and it was just absolutely marvelous. We wanted to soak the moment as much as possible, so we walked from the house up to there, and in the midst of that walk, I saw truly how many houses have sunrooms over on Goss, and found it interesting that so many of the houses were built with that direction of sun completely in mind. The rest of the day was spent on campus, talking with Carolyn and Kathryn and others for a while, and then I came home and set up my recording equipment in the family room. I "remade" Mos Def's beat for "Mr.Nigga" on GarageBand, and then afterwards I experimented with some acoustics by doing a ukulele cover of "I Will Follow You Into The Dark." I practiced piano for a while afterwards, then some guitar, and then I went back to Roane and Dana's for some cake and ice cream. I thought I possibly was going to go out with Jessi and some others tonight, but alas another falter of communication (...on their part) made that plan bomb. And thus some more recording went down.
It is an odd feeling that I am still getting used to with trying to still be okay with the amount of time I have spent by myself today and yesterday. I still feel somewhat depressed about the lack of socialization (sometimes), but then a few good moments of some deep thinking make me feel better about actually making some music for once, and that definitely makes me feel more connected towards this goal, this purpose that I would even consider I have made my life out of until the day I die.
That is a powerful statement, but just these past days have made me feel more and more and more motivated to not fail in my dreams. The one person I dream about when I make and practice this art is my parents, and I always try to place my mind into theirs and evaluate the impressions I make with "my successes" towards what probably to them is an even more monumental "success" of their parenting within just how good, how true the music is that I want to make in my lifetime.
Again, I have been thinking back to Alyssa a little more today. This morning, I felt some sort of "winning over" and "self-vindication" to get a text message from her stating "are you ok?", and, for at least my point of view, that offers consolation that, through the whole rejection on Saturday night, I am still somewhat on her mind. She just said, though, that she wanted to make sure because I was "acting weird" that last Saturday. I still feel somewhat dumb, somewhat "why did I do that?" towards the confession, but I feel seeing that moment now as a pretty important reminder to the "goals" I need to seek by myself and only myself within my life these days.
Neal and company arrive tomorrow, and though I do not have a genuine agenda of events, I am feeling that we are going to have a LOT of fun together, if anything was as good as it was from last year.
Time to go "start the day with a kiss" for tomorrow's foreseen achievements...
-c
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