Well, the night started even before that when Curty and myself went to the happy hour at Boulder Cafe around 6 or so. They do not call it "happy hour" for no apparent reason: we dished down on three fucking great beers paired with some cold shrimp and fries and crazy dipping sauces for only about ten bucks per person. It was a good feeling being back at the bars in Boulder, for how long it has been since I had been out on Pearl Street. Also, it was just good to share a moment with just Curtis, something I do not think I have ever really done within the time that we have lived together.
And then even before that, I had an amazing breakfast with Neal, Cam, Dylan, and Aaron before they headed back home. Because Neal was unable to rock the omelette bagels, we went to Walnut Cafe and just had a great selection of savory and sweet breakfast items. Maybe it was just the moment, maybe it was all the "trip" stories that they kept talking about from yesterday, maybe it was the waitress's contribution of her trip story to our conversation, or maybe it was just even the coffee, but no matter what I think about to this morning's breakfast, every moment of it was just absolutely golden. I told those guys before they left that we need to get a collaborative blog going and title it "Never A Dull Moment," because as far as I am concerned, I can never get enough of the stories those guys talk about with every chance I spend with them. I can not even do proper justice towards what exactly they did this weekend, but just like the previous title states, it seems that they never wasted any minute of their trip here this "weekend". And today is Friday.
2009 so far has led an interesting perspective to my collective train of thoughts and attitudes this year so far. I experienced another "touching" moment of recalling my life after hearing about the death of the Marcus' father on the 29th of December, and then at the same time, I hear of another birth in my somewhat-immediate family with my new distant nephew "Winter" from my cousin Christina. Life is going all over the place. I am not sure if I have had moments of depression this year so far as much as just moments where I just have to soak everything in and then think about how I want to let that change my thoughts and ways of living towards trying to understand my life and the lives of others just that much better.
It might be an egotistical musing, but sometimes I think people just do not see the artistic integrity to every work of art that exists in this world. People just do not delve into the hours upon hours of work and revising and time spent "seeking a true vision" into anything that gets created in this world. I see this in the movie we saw today, and just to "put myself" in the train of mind that the director "sees" for every shot, every action, every element to the movie, is just a whole another experience outside of the story itself.
Today I was absolutely high on life and I felt great about everything. I held candid conversations with people I did not know everywhere, and somehow I found an unknown outgoingly opening "charm" with conversation with friends that I have known for a while. Things just felt so in touch, and every moment felt as if it was an "opportunity" to get to know anything better. Maybe it was something to do with the "psychedelic" stories of "being one with the earth" that the guys might have put into my head, but I think more then anything it was just being okay with what my life is about, and being aware that I have the possibility to make an impact in this world in so many ways, some that possibly I just do not even know.
Through all that being said, though, sometimes I just still wish I had a fucking girlfriend already. I am tired of thinking "what-if" with already seemingly old-flames right now, especially during the movie today. All the scenes of enraptured human passion...kisses, hugs, skin pressing against skin...just exacerbated that gut feeling even further, and it feels at this point in my life I could see myself swooning myself over any girl I might know at this point in my life. I am at a peak in the most working order in that I might ever be in my entire life, and I just have no one to share that with.
With that, I just still have to remember about myself, I guess.
-c
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