Jah War

Rockin- The Bug

Once again, been a bit since any updating has gone down on here. I think the weather and the expected feelings and happiness of "summer" has yet to be brought forth into Boulder quite yet.

So! What's been going on since the last time we communicated?

-Spring 2010 is officially OVER. How classes went is a mystery to me, still, as I've yet to check grades. The final papers and tests seemed to go well in my mind, though.
-Partying. Cinco de Mayo brought forth a trip to Pearl St with Adam Ladwig, and I ended up running into a ton of people that I know all over the place. Drunken singing of Aha. Beers. Some cool nights, some nights filled with total broskis and douchebags.
-Many friends graduated. Andrew had his parents in town, and Dad came over to help Chey move out and down back to Albuquerque for a seemingly permanent decision. The weekend with the parentals was filled with some good dinners, some hanging out, some grad parties, frisbee, and me pushing my Dad home in a shopping cart coming home late from the bars. Also, mouthing back to the beat poet and making a total dick of myself was kinda funny, too.
-Some final "CHILL" sensations once said parents went back home. Coffee, and getting absorbed by Billy Bathgate. Tea. Bike rides. Overall feelings of no obligations, and desires to pursue music and academic plans more and more.
-Trying borschdt for the first time at Lauren's house, as cooked by Kate. Tasty!
-Me failing to communicate through celluar technology with Lola. Me still thinking about her a ton. Finally running into and meeting Lola at a potluck, along with Jackie and Andrew, who I still find hilarious that Andrew digs. Me still thinking that she's way fucking hot. Damn. Her telling me that I'm attractive, but she's dating some other girl right now.

So since then, there's been a lot of good things going down, and though the whole Lola thing did not work out, I'm not too bummed out. It's like that line out of George Bernard Shaw's Major Barbara: "Like all young men, you greatly exaggerate the difference between one young woman and another." I guess there are a ton of hot girls out there, and hopefully I can meet a lot of them in my life. I mean, shit, if I've met this many girls so far and have been able to go through this many rejections, it's getting to be something that makes it easier for me to handle time after time.

Still though, three and a half years since I've done anything? I think my body is definitely NOT feeling that. Fuck.

It's been raining all day today. Woke up, and the grey light seeping through the windowsills reeked of droopy weather. I played some trombone, and I spent the midday at The Cup, drinking coffee, munching down banana bread, reading more Billy Bathgate, and running into Jordon and his friends. I spent the afternoon cleaning my room, rearranging all my instruments and papers, and then I sold some books on the hill, mailed a special package to Mom, bought some new jeans and t-shirts at Target, and went to the Apple store to find out there's nothing wrong with my hard drive and my laptop. The evening was spent going to Sunflower with the roommates and making a delicious veggie spaghetti with a nice salad to compliment. Dedy came over for the feast, and we all had a pretty hefty fill. Daniel and I Smashed for a while afterwards.

So, yes, you Cody, don't go bumming yourself down because girls you REALLY thought you had a chance with don't have the same feelings that you always expect. Not every girl in this world is ever going to feel the same about you like you want sometimes. I mean, you don't feel the same way for all the girls you know, either. There's always the flip side to everything. And hey, maybe what everybody says, including your own father, about love coming when you least expect it actually makes some sense. But it's still something that you have to work for. And that can't happen until you are always aware to love yourself and to love what you're doing with your life right now. This ain't a loss as much as another chance to really build yourself stronger. I promise you, Cody, I promise, there is somebody out there waiting to find you. I promise.

-c