Why would you want any other?

Albums pulling me through right now:

"S/T"- Elliott Smith
"Nouns"- No Age
"The Chronic"- Dr. Dre
"Vocal Studies & Uprock Narratives"- Prefuse 73
"The Devil, You + Me"- The Notwist

Some of the best feelings I can experience happen very early in the mornings. It's always a good sign to watch the sun rise, it's nice to have coffee to start the day, it's nice to talk to attractive people with chipper attitudes in the morning, and there's nothing like the sight of the monumental, snow-frosted Flatirons, gleaming pink light as the sun rises on Boulder for the first time today.

Today is forever.

Today would not have happened without yesterday. Yesterday was some troubling feelings of loneliness and neglect again. Maybe it was just the snow again. I worked out in the afternoon and spent some time working on some music, and in the evening I went to Chipotle and Trident to get some work done; however, the bustle of Boulderites in warm, overcrowded coffee shops didn't give me the concentration needed to get shit done. I walked home through the frigid night, listening to Elliott Smith, and if that doesn't already paint a sordid picture, I was feeling depressed. Blah blah blah. I came home, lit a candle, and chilled with music and pretended to fall asleep for the night.

My rethinking on my attitude yesterday makes me realize again how important it is to keep strong for myself and my family more then anything. I started to have thoughts about all my peers and friends, and again I started thinking about the supposed "imbalance" of relationships I have with so many people. I just don't want to care about that kind of shit anymore, I just want to feel happy for myself, and to relish all the time that I have for myself. I want to enjoy the fact that nobody is holding me back from going to school super early or from doing anything with my life right now.

I guess this is something that's been hard for me to understand lately, but I think slowly and surely it's getting better for me.

And I sure as hell write about it a bunch. Oh well, good to go back and read about it later. Always seems to humor me. And it probably will, again.

-c