blank slate?

What's rockin: n/a

I had another hard time getting out of bed today. I stayed up later then expected last night because I was with my friends, and then this morning, I just wanted to keep sleeping. Probably more of the effect of winter and warm-blooded mammals again, I suppose. I got some belongings together, and after stopping by Dos Hermanos and Target, I left for Dulce this afternoon. I listened to another episode of This American Life that was about "mind games" with different stories about messing with other people's perceptions. I made a stop in Cuba at a thrift store and got a fitted mustard yellow dress shirt for two bucks. From thereon out, I listened to Animal Collective's "Feels" and realized how slow that album compares to their latest stuff. The first thing I noticed driving into Dulce was all the snow that is still all over the place from the last storm, but it made the landscape look gorgeous. I pulled into Grandma's place, and after the greeting, her and the cousins made some buscuits for some potato and beef stew tonight. Jason and Rowan showed up later. After dinner, I watched some Jeopardy, and then Grandma and I drove over to Grandma Lamavya's house. Lily was in the living room, and Grandma L. was in a bedroom, curled up on a bed with some oxygen tubes in her nose. She looked really tired, and she was speaking softly to Grandma and I. She talked to us about all the medical equipment she has right now because of her condition, which involved a plastic brace, walkers, an elastic band for exercise, and some other things. Grandma went to go talk with Lily, and then I talked with Grandma L. for a half hour or so. I brought my mind to her about all my feelings of "emptiness" of tribal knowledge, and she seemed to understand what I'm going through. I started asking about her history, and she went into a discussion how it would be difficult for her to explain herself because she's had such different "stages" in her life. She says that some of her most pertinent memories start with the dorms (in college, I'm presuming), and then another segment of her life starts with her marriage to Grandpa Adolphus. She told me that other relatives like Debbie and Bunga have done some histories with (what would be my) great-grandrelatives, and these reports would be helpful for what I want to do.

But man, sometimes I feel like I really don't know what to do up here right now. I remember feeling all empassioned after that moment last Saturday with the family, but it's really difficult to know where to start. Grandma L. told me that for her grandkids, as well as all of us, she wants us to take that opportunity in "other places" to become and do something successful, and that no matter what, our relatives will always be part of this place, and it's not necessarily a matter of how much you try to do for this place, but rather how much you remember who you are.

Back here at Grandma P.'s, I dozed for a while on the bed with the Bears/Vikings game on TV. I woke up later on to watch the exciting finish, and after logging on here and having a bowl of cereal, I'm ready for bed again. I think.

I think the best place for me to start at this moment is the cultural center in town. I want to investigate if they have any sort of oral history projects anywhere, and maybe that can help my thinking.

-c