Today was a mix of thoughts that seemed like they never straightened out. I went to Roma, and although Eric was unfortunately working there by himself, and thus making the line move slow, not to mention all the indoor tables being occupied, I still wanted a tea and a muffin, and I had it while sitting outside alone while the snow was lightly falling. Parts of me fantasized going around town putting stickers that say "ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARD" on every giant SUV and Hummer I can find, but definitely the logical half of me says that would be a bad idea. In that moment, I was just a little hopeless in thinking of the fate of this country right now. That is a broad statement, but it is as if there are almost too many reasons to ever truly explain to anyone. Or maybe people are afraid to say anything? I do not know.
I am having some hard time with some motivation for writing papers right now for my classes. I feel that I am not truly behind what I want to write about, and it really, really sucks when I end up writing for deadlines, not for personal achievement. I ended up finding some sanity by going to the music school and practicing trombone for two hours, mixing in some scale practice on my guitar as well, and again kept thinking to myself that all this time I have spent with the trombone just may be becoming something more and more important to my life these days...almost an odd notion of "the one thing that I can do right" kind of feeling...
I went to Target, came home, tried eating as much dinner as I could, and then caught the bus to a rehearsal for Andrew's recital. Overall, things are still setting in, I guess.
Quick thought: I do not even know how much of "indie music" I am all that into these days. Maybe I am burning the end of the wick here...
I am tired and tired of thinking of everything at once. Luckily, there is this metaphysical phenomenon called sleep, where my mind stops giving a shit.
-c
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