Yesterday was a good day anyways. I had my Anthro lecture in the morning, and afterwards I did my math homework while sipping on some tea at Amante. It was pretty overcast and cold all day. After my math class, I went home to read some more, and then I had a good, efficient workout in the afternoon. By that time, it was freezing rain. I got ready for the concert and blew some horn for a while, and Daniel gave me a ride up to Macky. Our sound check sucked. The technicians didn't have anything wired together. I met with the family at Aji for dinner afterwards, and I had a delicious spread of scallop and tuna ceviche, some corn fritters, and a chicken mole dish with mashed sweet potatoes and greens. The concert last night was great. I feel all the effort I've been putting into trombone has payed off very well, and when I play very well, I have a lot more fun with making music.
I felt pretty good afterwards, though a bit tired, but after hearing that Lauren didn't make it, due to other obligations at the music school, it just really dropped my heightened state of mind for whatever reason. I know, and yet I don't know, why something like that made me feel so bummed and angry. I didn't enjoy the time afterwards at the Cheesecake Factory nearly as much because of what happened, like I no longer had the tooth to enjoy sweets then. I still had some pumpkin and strawberry cheesecakes with the family, but I was just tired and moody by night's end.
Back at home, I was still seething inside, so I stretched and listened to D. Cab for a while. I tried to fall asleep, only to wake up at three in the morning, tossing and turning, so I finally finished my book, and I think that was crucial to me. At the end, the main character is so flustered with his love life, he's confessed to his wife that all he ever is is dishonest and a continually changing state of emotions, and he's given up with the first love of his life. He finally realizes that he is lucky he is not lonely in his life, and that he has a wife and kids to help him like that. The only thing that settles him down for this night is thinking of darkness and "rain falling on a sea". He sees nothing more than the vivid image of the rain falling gently on the water.
That made me think of the Outer Banks for a while, and after finally calming my mind down, I slept like a baby.
This morning, Mom and Dad took Chey and I out for breakfast at Foolish Craigs. We went to Target and Whole Foods afterwards to stock up on food and some clothes. They dropped me off, I said bye (till next Thanksgiving week), and now I'm ready to put a dent in my math project this afternoon.
So here comes my indecisive nature once again: I texted Lauren this morning to say that I have time this evening, and I'd like to see her. She said dinner would be a good call, and not only dinner, but dinner at Sherpa's. Now I'm all excited for all sorts, maybe not as enthused as other times, but I still am happy that we're planning for dinner tonight.
I am my own person of fluctuating emotions. I guess that's okay.
-c
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